When Breath Becomes Air

                        Aaron Visuals

I began to realize coming in such close contact with my mortality had changed both nothing and everything.Before being diagnosed with cancer,I knew that  someday I would die,but I didnt know when.After the diagnosis,I knew that I would die someday,but I didnt know when.   

But now I knew it acutely.The problem wasnt really a scientific one.The fact of death is unsettling.Yet there is no other way to live.

                                                                                                                                                          -Paul Kalanithi

Take a deep breath.....read those lines again,word by word,letter by letter.It's a strange feeling, you have thought of this but never gave it the attention it deserved.This makes you more alive and a little scared at the same time.Your whole life quickly flashes in front of your  eyes.You are scared for your future and what it beholds for you.It makes you appreciate the present.Live the moment.It makes you stop and wonder about this beautiful destination we all are travelling to - Death.

Yes, the thought of death is unsettling.The fear and the unpredictability of it.The fact that it changes nothing and everything is frightening.The rational world that we have built.Our body and minds torn down keeping up with it.We sometimes fail to acknowledge its existence.Yet, it never forgets.It comes unexpectedly, opens its arms and takes you away.

The autobiography "When Breath becomes Air" written by Dr.Paul Kalanithi is both beautiful and tragic.It was my first read after six years.I am grateful it could be this.His pursuit of finding himself as a doctor,his love for literature,his diagnosis,his family,the conflict of being a doctor and a pateint was heart wrenching but pure.It was all I wished it could be.

    Rest in Peace Paul Kalanithi.